May's Tip on the Mysteries of Male/Female Communication is about learning how to be honest but not too honest when you first meet someone you are interested in. Sometimes we get comfortable in conversation and we share some negative trait we have to liven up the conversation. It's okay to reveal something like, how you got an expensive parking ticket the other day but revealing you recently had your license suspended is something to be avoided. It may seriously be the absolute worst thing you have EVER done but for someone who knows very little about you, it may send off signals that there might be other more serious things they don't know. On the other hand, it can really work to your advantage to reveal some sort of minor negative thing about yourself as it creates a sense of conversational intimacy and is endearing. An example would be, "I love to cook but you won't find me on Martha Stewart's show anytime soon".
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Hey Christine,
I was wondering what the first steps would be to entering into a relationship? I know of this girl at work who I am really interested in and the feeling seems to be mutual. It's just been all small talk so far though. Can you give me tips on what to say and how to approach pursuing long term relationships?
TR
Dear TR,
Quick, get out of the friend zone. You've got to ask her out ASAP or you will become her "guy at work that she flirts with but hasn't thought about dating". I want you to approach her for a Date not a Long-Term Relationship. That's far too much pressure. Think of something she has mentioned that you want to know more about, like where she is from, her past summer holidays or a sport that she does. Or maybe there is something at work that you think she would know more about than you. This will be your 'in' for asking her out for a simple coffee. Eg, "You mentioned that you went on a trip to Italy last summer. I'd love to hear more and maybe even see your pictures. Can I take you out for a coffee sometime?" This "take you out" puts a clear signal as to your intentions. She will know you are asking her on a date. Once she says yes and you have an enjoyable coffee date, wait a few days and then maybe ask her to do something outside of work hours. Don't ask her out again right away and certainly not when you are on your first date. For a second date, ask her for something simple like a coffee on the weekend or even a movie. Don't move too quickly though because you want things to unfold as they should rather than making things uncomfortable at work. Good luck!
I actually met someone at your event a year and a bit ago, and we have moved in together! Funny how things work out...do you remember that I kept calling you trying to get into the event and then afterwards I was called out of town and had missed the timeline to respond and you forwarded e-mails to my two matches? I just felt so strongly that I should be at that particular event... strange isn't it?!
Anyway, thanks so much for your help with this and take care!
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Thursday, May 10th - ages 25-35
Thursday, May 17th - ages 30-40
Wednesday, May 23rd - ages 25-35
Wednesday, May 30th - ages 35-45
MAY 2007
Aries - As the month begins, you are coming across as intense -- very intense -- when it comes to romance. Why? Well, part of it is that you are intense, romantically and otherwise. But part of it is that you've met somebody you really like. The 1st and 2nd, channel this intensity the best way you know how -- toward the person who's inspiring it! By the 5th, your romantic intensity is going to be matched by your romantic honesty. Don't be afraid to be direct when you tell them how you feel about them. The 10th and 11th, it could be time for you to put their feelings ahead of your own. Maybe they aren't ready for a relationship. Maybe they just can't get a relationship started with you right now. They might need time. They might need space. Whatever the issue, sometimes self-sacrifice is just what the doctor ordered when it comes to romance. The 20th, stick to your guns. If you want to go on a date to the boardwalk and play shoot-em-up in the faux saloon with the cowboy dummies standing at the bar, then convince them it's a good idea! The 25th, spend the day making contact and the evening resting. By the 30th, you end of the month the way you began it: intensely.
Taurus - If you're feeling a little bit slow when it comes to getting going on romance on the 1st and 2nd, then go ahead and forget about romance and focus on getting enough sleep. Yep, there are days for love and there are days for other things: work, shopping, cooking, napping, chatting, going to the movies. Try to take life as it comes, rather than forcing yourself to do something you just don't feel like doing right now. Don't fret, sugarplum -- by the 3rd, 4th and 5th, there is going to be so much going on in your love life you won't even know what to do! You're going to be fielding phone calls and turning down dates because you just don't have that many hours in a day. By the 10th, 11th and 12th, you're going to have a better grasp on where you're at romantically. Who do you want? Who wants you? Where do those two categories overlap? The 17th, it's time to make a grown-up decision. The 22nd, if you stick to that grown-up decision, you could find yourself having a very grown-up relationship very soon. The 27th, make sure you're in touch with your social network as you go through these romantic changes. The 31st, you wrap up the month with some serious romantic activity.
Gemini - One of the best things about you, when it comes to romantic communications, is that you're able to cut out all of the small talk and get right to the point. This is great, and it's a skill that will come in handy on the 1st and 2nd, when you're talking to somebody who really pushes all the right romantic buttons. What's not always so great about your directness is that you sometimes rush things -- while it's good to get right to the point, it does take time to figure out if a particular relationship is the right one for you. This month, work on slowing down. Get to know them a little bit before you make any big decisions. Hold off with your directness for a little while. By the 6th and 7th, you have a great opportunity to take things slower, when somebody you think is very cute suggests speeding things up. The 13th and 14th, a problem could arise that will make you glad that you're spending time with this person before committing your whole self to them. By the 19th, you could be feeling ready to share more of your private space. Go ahead, if you think it's the right thing to do. The 23rd and 24th, whether you want to stay or go, be gentle with them. The 29th and 30th, finish the month with a little more straight talk
Cancer - So you've got a fantasy of walking right up to your dream boy or girl and asking them permission to whisk them away to some kind of interesting theme park, perhaps Disneyland, for a weekend of magical romance and roller-coaster rides. The 1st and 2nd, it's time to make your fantasy a reality. Yep, it's high time for action. You should have your response no later than the 3rd or 4th, and while you never know what the outcome of such a daring move on your part will be, it's entirely possible that they will say yes. But the 8th and 9th, your days and evenings are even more action-packed, you romantic singing cricket, you! Don't forget to give yourself a little time to rest on the 11th before things get crazy again on the 13th. You're at a big turning point -- which way do you turn? The 19th and 20th, you have two pretty fantastic, highly romantic days. Is somebody whisking you away on a romantic fantasy weekend? Could be! The 25th and 26th, if you want something, do what it takes to get it. The 31st, don't forget that all romances require communication -- even the ones that start off Cinderella-style at the magical kingdom.
Leo - Have you been staying up late at night wondering when you're going to meet that perfect person who's going to make you perfectly happy in a perfectly romantic relationship that gets started after a perfect date as you're walking hand-in-hand on the beach under a perfect sunset as you're wearing the perfect outfit and they're saying the perfect thing? The 1st and 2nd, you may not find 'perfect,' but you could meet somebody you really like a lot. If you do, don't waste time: the 3rd, 4th and 5th, spend as much time as you can getting to know them. By the 6th and 7th, the more accurately you can express yourself, the better they'll know what it is you're thinking. Please note, 'accurate' is not the same as 'perfect.' If this person still pleases you by the 11th, you could find yourself very, very busy. And the 16th and 17th, you could get very creative in the ways you let them know how you feel. The 21st and 22nd are pretty fantastic days -- again, note the difference between 'perfect' and 'fantastic' (fantastic is better). The 27th, things between you two get a little bit easier. The 31st, forget 'perfect.' You've got all you want right here.
Virgo - You are a big believer in the idea that telling it like it is, is the best way to solve problems. Of course, you're right. But when it comes to romance, everybody's a little bit hypersensitive. It's easy to tread on old wounds and hidden fragility and painful, defensive places. So, the 1st and 2nd, before you tell the object of your affections just exactly what it is you think, consider how you might cushion any potential blows. Be honest, yes. But be gentle too. By the 5th, you've reached a critical point. Have you met somebody new? Or are you considering taking an already existing romance to the next level? The 11th, something that's been unclear for you becomes a little more obvious -- and you could find that you're mighty tired. If so, take a nap. By the 15th, you're ready for some serious self-reflection. Be as honest with yourself as you are with others. The 20th, you could discover a problem. Don't forget that it's peoples' problems that help make them the complex and fascinating creatures they are. The 23rd and 24th, you're in for some pretty good days -- and you're looking absolutely fantastic, by the way. The 28th, 29th and 30th, start wrapping the month up with a little more bare-bones communications.
Libra - Nobody ever said it was going to be easy, did they, sugarplum? Nope, lovey-dovey, romance is never really simple. There's always something that's complicated -- you, them, the two of you together -- but that's also what keeps it interesting. The 1st and 2nd, don't be discouraged if things aren't totally absolutely easy between you and the object of your affection. Sometimes things just aren't totally absolutely easy, but that doesn't mean that cutie isn't worthy of your affection. However, if you're feeling like there's something really wrong, you do always want to listen to that inner voice of yours. Think it over, the 6th and 7th. By the 8th and 9th, things will be going in one direction or another -- either you'll be getting together or you'll be growing apart. The 11th, be sure to talk about it. By the 15th, there is so much going on in your romantic universe that you could have another fit of the why-isn't-this-easiers. Take a deep breath and enjoy the complications. The 20th, some chaos frees you up to really express yourself -- great. The 25th, 26th and 27th, you're feeling better than you have in a long time, romantically speaking. Wrap up the month, the 31st, with that wonderful feeling that everything isn't all that difficult after all.
Scorpio - If you were a surfer on the Sea of Love, you'd be hanging ten on the 1st and 2nd. If you were a mountain climber on the Mountain of Love, you'd be reaching the pinnacle as the month begins. Yep, if you were a marathon runner on the Marathon Course of Love, this would be the month that you set a world record. You are unstoppable when it comes to romance this month. So set your sights on what (or whom) you want, and then go for it! By the 6th and 7th, you're shining. By the 11th, you're ready to take control -- and how! By the 15th, you're ready to take a nap -- all of this romantic exertion is exhausting! By the 20th, you're back in the ring -- and it looks like you're the world champion of romantic boxing! What's romantic boxing, you ask? Well, let's just say it's a whole lot gentler than regular boxing. The 25th, you discover a teeny tiny problem, and you solve it. You're the champion solver of Romantic Problems of Love, it looks like too! The 28th, 29th and 30th, you end the month the way you began it -- with a whole lot of romantic triumph! Don't forget to smooch them!
Sagittarius - The 1st and 2nd, don't hesitate to spend a little bit of time reviewing some of the problems that come up for you in romantic situations. Do you tend to repress unpleasant feelings like anger or disappointment? Have you noticed that doing so results in problems building and building and generating a certain amount of toxicity before exploding? This month, it's time to look at why you do what you do. Don't focus on doing things better -- yet. The most important thing is to understand yourself, because if you don't understand yourself, you can't make changes effectively. You'll have a much welcome break from all of this heavy-duty self-analysis the 3rd, 4th and 5th, when a very romantic proposition finds its way into your inbox. Lucky you! By the 11th, you've come a step closer to self-acceptance -- which is a major step toward a healthier emotional life. The 15th, it looks like you're in for a very romantic, possibly also very sporty, definitely very exciting activity. The 20th, you learn something about yourself. The 25th, you learn something about them. It could turn out they're not perfect after all -- but you like them all the more for it. The 31st, your month ends with something really spectacular
Capricorn - The 1st, it looks like you're right smack dab in the middle of a serious and seriously sublime romantic interaction. You feel inspired. You feel wired. And if all this romance is keeping you up late at night, you could also be feeling tired. But you wouldn't trade it for anything. By the 6th and 7th, what was fantastic takes a turn for the better: Yep, you'd better get ready for super-fantastic! How can anybody have so much romance? Well, you're going to find out. You're at a critical point the 13th -- do you want to take this to the next level? If you do, don't give up now. Whatever you want to happen, you can make happen. The 17th, don't forget that even the most spectacular romance requires regular communication. So talk to them! The 21st and 22nd, the two of you could be booked with grand opening galas and other glitzy activities. But if you feel like just staying in, you should both cancel your plans and rent a movie together. The 27th, you could feel like you've grown up romantically. Great. The 31st, you turn thoughtful. Tell that cutie pie what it is you're thinking.
Aquarius - You know, by now, that romance isn't all daisy chains and chocolate wafer crisps. Sure, any romance worth its salt is going to involve flowers and sweets, but there's a lot more to it. Honesty, compatibility, communication, maturity, the ability to put the others' needs before your own -- these are the bread and butter of real romantic connection. The 1st and 2nd, you have a chance to reflect a little bit on just what you've got and what you're still looking for when it comes to finding true love. By the 6th and 7th, you have a sudden insight -- are you always hesitant to be truly honest because you're afraid that if your romantic partner sees you for who you are, they won't like you anymore? And you understand suddenly that that's just not going to cut it? Great! Insights like this are going to make the 8th and 9th really terrific, highly romantic days. By the 13th, if you see something you like on display in the shop window of romance, by golly, go inside and check it out. The 19th and 20th, call them. The 26th and 27th, let them call you. The 31st, wrap up the month with a little bit of very honest romantic assessment.
Pisces - As the month begins on the 1st and 2nd, you are at a major turning point romantically. Are you really getting to know yourself so that you can own your own insecurities and not project them onto another person? Are you gaining a better understanding of what you need and what you can't stand in a relationship with somebody else? Are you just plain more comfortable? That sounds great. Keep working on it all month long. By the 6th and 7th, you've got a much clearer vision of what's happening, and this allows you to deal with problems much more effectively. The 11th, you have a really fantastic, absolutely romantic day. Enjoy it -- after all, you've done a lot of hard emotional work to get here. By the 15th, you're going to have the opportunity to accept the things for what they are rather than continue to imagine that they're the way you'd like them to be. Even if this is a little difficult, it's good for you. The 20th, if you want it -- or them -- go for it. By the 26th and 27th, it's time for you to really go for your desires. The 31st, you're at another turning point. Which way do you turn, sweet pea?
Love Horoscopes are courtesy of www.love.astrology.com
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May's Tip on the Mysteries of Male/Female Communication is about learning how to be honest but not too honest when you first meet someone you are interested in. Sometimes we get comfortable in conversation and we share some negative trait we have to liven up the conversation. It's okay to reveal something like, how you got an expensive parking ticket the other day but revealing you recently had your license suspended is something to be avoided. It may seriously be the absolute worst thing you have EVER done but for someone who knows very little about you, it may send off signals that there might be other more serious things they don't know. On the other hand, it can really work to your advantage to reveal some sort of minor negative thing about yourself as it creates a sense of conversational intimacy and is endearing. An example would be, "I love to cook but you won't find me on Martha Stewart's show anytime soon".
Hi Christine,
MAY 2007
