It's true, the Six Minute Dates newsletter has been on hiatus for the last 2 months, but for good reason: the Editor needed to fulfill her dream of traveling to South America. :)
The LOVE month is now upon us and fresh from travel adventure, I want to encourage you to shake things up a bit. The biggest difference between life in Brazil and life in Canada comes down to one thing: our relatively conservative approach to meeting someone special in daily life.
Specifically, I'm often met with wide eyes when, as a Date Coach, I ask people to step out of their comfort zone and make casual eye contact with a total stranger or engage someone in conversation as they sit at the table next to you in a coffee shop or restaurant. These are two examples of daily life and daily interaction in Brazil and builds a sense of comfort and confidence which can really come in handy when you spot someone you are romantically interested in. The reason I sometimes make this recommendation is to help people open their eyes to all the potential matches they may be around on a daily basis but may not notice. It seems we almost fear random human connection and often do whatever it takes to avoid eye contact. This would be okay I guess if once we got home at the end of the day, we didn't wonder why we often felt kind of lonely or disconnected.
So during the LOVE month, I want you to ponder how open you are to making random connections with total strangers. This could be someone you find attractive, someone you think would be interesting to talk to or someone to simply share a laugh with.
Let's put an end to rush, rush, rush, avoiding-eye-contact-living. You just never know when a romantic spark is going to fly.
As a Date Coach, here's a friendly reminder of my website, www.yourdatecoach.com. Please feel free to contact me any time to discuss how date coaching can help you or someone you know turn their love life right around.
Enjoy our February Love issue and do tell if you have any requests for topics you would like to see in future editions.
We are now celebrating over 40 marriages through our service!
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." ~ Mark Twain
Look forward to seeing you soon!
Sincerely,
Hi Christine,
I seem to have the same problem with almost every man I date. That is that when we're initially getting to know each other on the first or second date, they talk incessantly about themselves and don't seem to show a lot of interest in me by asking me questions about myself. I am a *quiet* person, but am usually great at one-on-one conversation. On dates, I ask men a lot questions about themselves and try really hard to add my own take on the conversation topic and leave casual pauses in conversation where they can ask me questions. However, this tends to result in them filling the silence with more information about themselves, rather than showing interest in me. The result is that I tend to get annoyed and I give up calling them back. How am I supposed to know if a man is interested in me when he only talks about himself?
Signed,
I'm Interesting Too
Dear IIT,
Let me assure you that 90% of your approach is correct. Asking lots of questions and paying attention to the details in their answers is a great skill. There may be one of two things going on: either you are dating only very self-centered men or you may make men nervous. It's likely the latter. You described yourself as quiet which can sometimes make men nervous and they feel like they have to fill in the pauses. You may see them as casual pauses in conversation but they may see them as a time when you are dissecting what they just said so they feel the need to give you more information about themselves, or "sell themselves". When men (and women) are nervous on dates, they go overboard with talking about themselves. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking your date (maybe wait for the 3rd conversation) why it is that they don't really ask you any questions. They may have been so nervous that they didn't even notice and you can both have a bit of a laugh about it. If, after you have mentioned it, the self-centeredness continues, simply move on - people generally don't change. Recognize that you play a role in this interaction too and take some time to work on your shyness. The reason for this is if one person is shy, more often than not, the other will go overboard with trying to keep the conversation lively and interesting. If you work on coming across as a little less shy, it will lessen their need to be over the top and balance things out a bit.
Just to let you know that Six Minute Dates does work! Wendy and I met at one of your events in November 2005. We just got engaged, and are planning to tie the knot next year. Thank you very much for your professional and friendly service, making it a relaxed and fun experience. It took a few times, but the wait was well worth it. The ironic thing is that we both grew up in small towns in Southern Alberta, not more than 1/2 hour drive apart, yet met through Six minute Dates in Calgary.
Because you've done such a great job, you have lost two customers! Fortunate for us, but unfortunate for you!
Speed-Dating at Coffee J's:
(licensed) 795-1st Ave SW
Wednesday, February 7th - ages 30-40 (3 Spots open for MEN!!)
Thursday, February 8th - ages 25-35 (2 Spots open for MEN!!)
Thursday, February 15th - ages 35-45
Thursday, February 22nd - ages 25-35
Wednesday, February 28th - ages 30-40
Our 40+ and 25-40 large-scale events are coming up at the end of April too!
FEBRUARY 2007
Aries - The 1st and 2nd, it's time for you to really dig down deep and take a long, hard look at what you're doing romantically. Are you really, really trying? Or are you really, really not trying very hard? If you don't pose these questions to yourself, it could be very hard for you to come up with any answers. By the 5th and 6th, you can stop asking yourself the tough questions and start asking yourself a really, really tough questions. Like, why aren't you trying? Are you afraid? Of what? The 10th, spend the day being as active as you possibly can -- this could mean softball practice, this could mean attending an ice cream sundae party. Whatever it is you're doing, it's a good bet that you could meet somebody intriguing while doing it. You might want to buy the take-home ice cream sundae kit, just in case somebody who likes whipped cream and a cherry on top comes over on the 13th, 14th, 17th or 18th. Who is this mystery person, anyhow? You might want to take steps to find out before the very fabulous 19th and 20th. By the 25th, it's time to fish or cut bait, as they say. Do you like them? If so, you should tell them by the 28th.
Taurus - The 1st and 2nd, it's looking a lot like romantic decision time for you. Right now is the time when, if you say something, they are going to listen. But if you don't say anything, how will they know? Ha ha! You've just unlocked one of the mysteries of romance: it's called communication. Yep, it seems basic, but it's something couples struggle with at every step of the game. So take advantage of all this newness with this new person to go ahead and communicate, communicate, communicate. While you're at it, why not go ice-skating? The 5th, 6th and 7th, you and they and all of your respective friends are going to have a couple of opportunities to have a really great time. Whether you're attending the Ice Capades or building snowmen with the group, Jack Frost might not be the only one nipping at your cute little nose. All this romance could tucker you out, and if you're feeling tired, why not take a break the 13th, 14th and 15th? Oh, because they can't live without you for three days? That's so sweet. By the 20th, you'll have a good sense of how you're feeling about all of this. The 25th, you've to come to terms with reality -- but you enjoy it. The 28th, wrap up the month the right way -- with a kiss!
Gemini - The month begins with some very intriguing romantic flusterings. What do you hear when the pigeons coo? What do you hear when they flap their wings? What do you hear when the wind blows through the trees? Does it sound something like, 'whish, whish, romance is coming, romance is coming, whish, whish, romance is on its way'? Could very well be -- the 1st and 2nd, there are signs of stirrings in your romantic vicinity. Well, spring it is in the air, after all. Or at least it will be in a little while. The 5th, 6th and 7th, you could be a little bit shy. Try to get over this by the 8th and 9th, when a couple of potential romantic partners want to get connected -- to you. By the 11th, you could be in for some philosophical chitchat with somebody really cute. The 16th, ask yourself what you really want, and the 17th and 18th, you're in a good position to make an important romantic change. The 22nd, take a little time for self reflection, and by the 26th, you could be in an entirely new romantic sphere (i.e., on a date with that philosophical hottie). Finish the month up, the 28th, with a heart-to-heart.
Cancer - With this month, it's time for you to move beyond a few old habits that have been obstructing your romantic views. Has pessimism been poisoning your perspective, when it comes to romance? Has negativity negated some of your more loving impulses? Are you slightly insecure? Or do you find partners who are insecure and have trouble letting you into their hearts? The 1st and 2nd, it's time to really look at this stuff. Go ahead and keep thinking about it the 3rd and 4th, and by the 5th, 6th and 7th, you'll be in a good spot to make some kind of change. Whether it's a loud change -- like making up or breaking up -- or a quieter change, like shifting your own ideas a little bit, it will have a major impact down the line. The 13th, take a break from all this hard emotional work. Why not go for a jog on the beach? The 17th, check in with a parental figure -- they could have some good advice. By the 24th, you're probably ready to ask them out. Go for it. End the month, the 28th, with something new.
Leo - You're starting the month out with romance, romance, romance. In fact, the 1st and 2nd could be the most romantic days you've had yet. Pretty much everything you do, from shoveling the sidewalk to snuggling over hot chocolate with marshmallows by the fire, has a lovely romantic glow. Who is your lucky partner? Make sure you keep communicating, and things will just get better the 5th, 6th and 7th. You could encounter at teeny tiny romantic glitch the 11th, which could be compounded by the an unwillingness to talk about it be 15th and 16th. In order to avoid this problem, start the discussion as soon as you encounter the hint of a problem. After all, you know what they say: Communication makes the heart grow fonder. The 21st, you're at a major turning point: which way to turn? Here's a hint: If you like them, head their direction. By the 25th, you solve a problem. The 28th, you end the month the way you started it: really, really romantically.
Virgo - The 1st, you might be painting a mural to express how you feel about a certain special someone. What color is the mural? What's the subject? It could be a night sky in deep purple, or a giant anatomically correct human heart in red. Or maybe you're painting a tree against the cloudless blue sky that represents your heart. Or maybe it's a child's bicycle in green that expresses your emotions most accurately. By the 3rd and 4th, you'll have finished your gorgeous mural, and they'll have seen it, and then maybe you two will finally go out for coffee and get to know each other. After all, whether you're painting a mural or flirting a little bit, it's self-expression that leads to a date. The 9th, you keep your eyes on the prize: date number two. How and when and where are what you want to know. Get answers to those questions by the 13th and 14th. The 19th, there's a lot going on. Try to keep your cool, even if you're really nervous about date number three. The 23rd, it's time to let them know how you feel in words (they might not get exactly what you meant with that green child's bicycle). The 28th, wrap up the month with another burst of colorful creativity.
Libra - The month starts with a teeny tiny itsy-bitsy miniscule romantic problem. Is it that they don't know who you are? Because you always watch them across the company cafeteria, but have never gotten up the nerve to actually ask them out? Well sweet pea, why not start small? The 5th, 6th or 7th, just ask them what their name is, and tell them yours. It's the way all great romances start, from Romeo and Juliet on down. After you've gotten the introductions out of the way, why not start thinking about ratcheting it up a notch on the 8th and 9th? The 15th and 16th, you and they could take another step toward 'we,' if you really get in there and take control. How about asking them how their day is going? The 20th, give yourself a break. You've been doing a lot of hard romantic work! Get back down to business though, by the 25th, when you need to make a move -- any move. The 28th, if you see a problem -- like that you like them and they like you but you're both too shy to invite the other out for a frapuccino -- go ahead and fix it.
Scorpio - Nobody needs to tell you what the recipe for a romantic success is: You practically wrote the book on it! Yep, you know it's not that difficult. All you have to do is find somebody you really like, flirt with them until they really like you back, go out on a couple of dates, fall in love and live happily ever after. Okay, okay, in practice it's a little bit more complicated -- even for a romantic master like you. The 1st and 2nd of this month -- Cupid's favorite month -- why not spend a little bit of time considering a more grown-up approach to romance. That is, you can't expect it to be easy or perfect -- and living happily ever after requires daily effort. The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be to get an actual romance off the ground. The 8th, 9th and 10th are great days for finding a real-life love -- so keep your eyes open. The 15th, spend the evening getting to know them. By the 20th you have a pretty good idea of whether or not you want to go any further with this. The 24th, you could be fielding romantic phone calls, and by the 27th, you might want to sit back and take a moment to decide whose call to return first. Then, go to it!
Sagittarius - You know that romance is a healthy part of a healthy life -- kind of like volleyball or jogging. The 1st and 2nd, you're giving some thought to the role that romance plays in your life. Is it something you give some energy to every day? Are you a team player? Ask yourself a few of these questions; the answers could bring you to a whole new place, romantically speaking, on the 3rd and 4th. By the 9th, you've finally gotten to the root of a particular romantic problem, and this will free you up to have a pretty fantastic couple of romantic days on the 10th, 11th and 12th. Who is your lucky partner? The 17th, you need to make a decision: Are you going to spike the ball or lob it over the volleyball net of love? By the 22nd, it's time for you to get connected one way or another. The 23rd is a great day to mix love and exercise -- why not take the object of your affection to the gym with you? End the month with some serious reflection on the 28th. How healthy is your approach to romance now?
Capricorn - Sometimes, there is just so much going on in your romantic environment that you hardly know what to do with yourself. The 1st and 2nd are days like this -- there are people calling, people emailing and people just showing up at your cubicle. And they all want to go out with you. The question is, do you want to go with them? And if the answer is no, how can you let them down gently? Don't worry: By the 6th and 7th, you'll have answers to these questions -- and an answer to the question of what to do if you do want to go out with them. The 12th, you encounter a problem. Maybe you aren't quite ready. Maybe you are but they aren't. Don't worry: By the 13th and 14th, it will all work out just the way you want it to. The 19th, it could be time to turn off the phone, bury the cell phone under the dirty-clothes pile in the closet, unhook the Internet and just spend some time alone meditating. Sometimes this is the best way to figure out where you really want. The 24th, it's time to plug the phone, Internet, doorbell, etc. back in and recharge the old cell phone too -- you've got to get connected for a romance to take off. The 28th, the month ends the way it started: busy, busy, busy.
Aquarius - There's no way of knowing what the future holds when you meet a cutie pie. But there are some surefire ways of making sure it doesn't work out: don't introduce yourself, don't get their name, don't make eye contact, don't allow yourself to be really open to the possibility of sharing your emotions with someone else. The 1st, be sure to take advantage of the quiet time you have, and think about what to do when you meet somebody you like, but who might be just be the tiniest bit self-sabotaging. The 5th, spend the day negotiating, and spend the evening thinking over a couple of your romantic patterns. By the 10th you should have identified at least three things that you do that make it difficult for you to conduct your romances. These insights will come in handy when somebody who tickles you pink waltzes into your life the 15th or 16th. By the 19th and 20th you find it easier to accept yourself as you are -- which makes it easier for your potential romantic partner to get close to you. The 25th, take some time during the day to make a plan: Where are you going with this whole romance thing? Finish the month with just a tad more self-reflection.
Pisces - When's the last time you really felt relaxed in a romantic situation? Was it yesterday? Three years ago? Never? Always? Well, the 1st, you might want to spend between five and 25 minutes composing a list of moments in which you felt genuinely romantically okay. If you're more comfortable with images than words, go ahead and draw series of pictures. Or, if you'd feel more comfortable singing, go ahead and compose a couple of lines. This kind of self-understanding will make future romantic situations clearer to you -- something that could prove quite useful when a potential romance comes your way on the 5th, 6th or 7th. By the 13th you might be ready to draw up the second list (comic strip, punk-rock lyric), but this time, make it a list of romantic situations in which you haven't felt comfortable. This will help you negotiate the next romantic situation you're in too. After all, self-knowledge is the path to real romance. The 18th, you have a fantastic romantic encounter. See? Those lists really help. The 23rd, you're ready for the next stage: serious communication. End the month by calling them up and telling them how you feel on the 28th.
Love Horoscopes are courtesy of www.love.astrology.com
Does your company have a stylish and fun product you would like to give away to one of our wonderful guests as a prize? Contact us at info@sixminutedates.com for information on this great opportunity!
It's true, the Six Minute Dates newsletter has been on hiatus for the last 2 months, but for good reason: the Editor needed to fulfill her dream of traveling to South America. :)
Hi Christine,
FEBRUARY 2007
