When I first saw the book title, "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You", I thought - oh puhleese, how conniving. Now, 10 years later, this book is still in heavy circulation so I gave in and picked up a copy. With trepidation, I read the chapter on The General Art of Pick-Up and I must say I was won over by Lowndes advice - it wasn't conniving at all, just simple.
She explains that in the animal kingdom, flirting and seizing the moment are instinctual with zero boundaries. As humans, we are no different but we operate with a serious handicap - our brains get in the way of our instincts. Yes, on some levels thank goodness for that as I can only imagine how comical/overwhelming it would be if we all acted on primal instincts all the time. Our problem is that when we see someone we are attracted to, we waste time asking ourselves too many questions, "Will he think I'm forward?", "Should I play hard to get?" "Do I look alright?" Abolishing these thoughts is very important.
First, when you spot someone attractive, look and hold their eye contact for a few extra seconds. Be prepared for them to look away, but, if they look back within 45 seconds, they welcome your attention.
Second, smile at them, making sure your smile is friendly and respectful, not a leering grin or salacious smirk. Give them a very slight nod if they have returned your gaze within 45 seconds.
Third, move within their range so that you are close enough to talk to them
Forth, your opening line should just be something simple about the current situation, such as how do they know the host or a compliment on their outfit.
Fall is here and you'll likely find yourself at some fun social gatherings where you can try these tips out. Remember, have fun.
As a Date Coach, here's a friendly reminder of my new website, www.yourdatecoach.com. Please feel free to contact me any time to discuss how date coaching can help you or someone you know turn their love life right around.
Enjoy our September issue and do tell if you have any requests for topics you would like to see in future editions.
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." ~ Mark Twain
Look forward to seeing you soon!
Sincerely,
How do I know if she's interested in getting to know me better?
Gauging Interest
Dear GI
You need to create some tests and throw some feelers out there. If you are always in a group setting, ask her to go for coffee sometime. You can mention something she's specifically interested in and say you'd like to hear more about it. She may not be clear on your intentions at this point. If she says no or suggests another group activity, you're out of luck, she's not interested. On your coffee date, look for things like lingering eye contact, open body language, and overall a general interest in seeing you again. Gauge her reaction when you suggest to see her alone again at another time in the future. Don't assume because she said yes to one coffee that she is clear on your intentions. If she says yes to a 2nd coffee date or activity, she is definitely clear on your intentions.
Christine: Thank you so much for sending me all the invitations to your events; however, I no longer need to be on your mailing list as I met a truly wonderful sexy man at the last event I attended. He is the man of my dreams. Take care and thanks again for everything......
LB
Thursday, September 7th - ages 25-35
Wednesday, September 13th - ages 30-40
Wednesday, September 20th - ages 25-35
Thursday, September 21st - ages 40-50
Wednesday, September 27th - ages 35-45
Thursday, September 28th - ages 30-40
SEPTEMBER 2006
Aries - Your directness, especially in matters of romance, is one of your greatest assets. Other folks might play hide-and-seek, skirting the issues, saying yes ... then no ... then maybe. But not you. And your potential romantic partner is going to be impressed on the 1st. Even if the month doesn't start with lots of action, don't worry. You aren't doing anything wrong -- sometimes it just takes time. Try to be considerate on the 5th, but stop short of self-sacrifice. On the 8th, 9th and the morning of the 10th, you have that 'flirt' look in your eye, and boy, is it twinkling! Boy, does it look good! Are you attracting attention or what? Have a great time! On the 15th and 16th, if you're ready for a real change in your romantic status, you can make it happen. Just use your willpower and your secret flirt powers. On the 20th and 21st, take any concerns you have and let them out into the open. On the 23rd, be as 'what will be will be' as you can -- pushing won't get you far today. On the 28th, it's time to get direct again, romancewise.
Taurus - On the 1st, you approach romance from a philosophical place. You're not just asking yourself, 'How can I get that cutie pie's phone number?' No, you're asking yourself, 'What is the deeper meaning of human attraction? Are we drawn to each other for hardwired reasons of biological necessity? Or is love an attempt to come to terms with a fundamental loneliness that, like it or not, affects each of us throughout our lives?' Yep, you go deep this month. Don't forget, though, to get that phone number! On the 5th, call them. On the 11th, you're 'on' in a big way, and you probably feel anything but lonely. By the 15th and 16th, romance might well be feeling like a piece of cake. Add a dollop of ice cream and dig in! Watch out for the details on the 20th and 21st. Is this person really nice enough? Do they deserve your attention? On the 25th and 26th, let romance take its natural course, whatever that may be. By the 30th, you have a lot of new romantic ideas to mull over.
Gemini - On the 1st, you flash your oh-so-very-winning smile. You receive some sort of contact information. You joke. You laugh. In short, you do everything right. Now all you can do is sit back and see what happens. Don't forget that the silences between words are as important to communication as the words themselves. So give yourself some breathing room. On the 5th, you're in a new space -- it's called 'communication.' That's right, you're communicating away. And the recipient of your messages couldn't be more pleased. On the 11th, you may find you need to take the number of romantic admirers you think you have and multiply it by, say, five to arrive at the correct number. Yes, you're even more adored than you thought! The 13th is a great day to get something started, and on the 18th, your creativity spices up your romantic life. On the 21st, you really shouldn't give up on something (or someone) you want. On the 26th, talk about it, and on the 30th, it's time to sit back and let it happen.
Cancer - If there's somebody you've had your eye on lately, the 1st is a great time to let them know you're interested. You can do it overtly (a letter, a phone call, an email) or discreetly (a certain sparkle in your glance, a brush of the hand). However you do it, though, just be sure you let them in on your little secret (that you'd like the two of you to be 'you two'). On the 3rd, let them come to you, or take a little breather. On the 7th, why not spend some time reviewing your past relationships. Any troubling patterns emerge? Any positive patterns? What do you make of them? On the 11th, you have an insight into a long-standing problem. By the weekend of the 15th, 16th and 17th, you're ready for love -- and you aren't the only one! Enjoy a spectacular few days, and if at all possible, smooch. On the 18th, you should test an unorthodox date idea, and by the 23rd, you'll know if it worked. Call somebody who tickles your fancy on the 28th.You're fancy free on the 30th (enjoy it!).
Leo - Well, well, well, what have you gotten started on the 1st? Is that a romance omelet you're cooking up? Or love in the form of eggs over easy? Some hard-boiled flirting? Heck, only you know -- you're the chef of romance at the breakfast diner this month! On the 3rd, go ahead and check your supply lines -- do you have enough kitchen materials coming in? Raw eggs, orange juice, toast? And do you want to get to know the delivery person? Ask them in to test your new recipe already! On the 7th, you invent a few additional recipes -- there's more than one way to break an egg and turn it into breakfast, you say? On the 13th, you identify a problem. (Is that delivery cutie a vegan? Uh oh.) By the fantastic 17th, 18th and 19th, you've resolved the problem -- to say the least! By the 23rd, you're in love, and you let everyone know (maybe with a little red food dye in the hash browns? And the orange juice? And the fried eggs? Interesting medium for the message.) On the 28th, you're getting creative all over again!
Virgo - On the 1st, your job, when it comes to love, is to plunge in. Call. Write. Meet. Hold hands. Talk. Laugh. Cry. Whatever. Just don't hesitate, or you could let something special slip through your fingers. If you act decisively on the 1st, you're likely to be hanging out with that cutie by the 5th. Get connected, and it can only get better! On the 10th and 11th, go ahead and take a little time out from all of this focusing on the other person. You need to spend some time focusing on yourself, too, you know. What do you see in yourself, anyway? A throbbing heart? A tender soul? Both? Neither? On the 15th and 16th, don't worry: Any little glitches you might encounter can't beat you. By the 20th and 21st, when you look great and feel even better and very possibly have a great date (or two) planned, you see just how little you had to worry about that little glitch. On the 25th and 26th, pay close attention, and you'll learn something new about some intriguing dynamic. By the 30th, take a deep breath -- and plunge back in!
Libra - You know, whoever said planning wasn't sexy was wrong. Okay, okay, sometimes spontaneity is the spice of life (and a romance booster). But sometimes -- especially on the 1st -- making plans is the best way to ensure that a romance pans out. Seriously. So rearrange your schedule if you must, but make room for some plans, and make sure your honey does the same for you. By the 5th, this no-nonsense approach should already be paying off. On the 9th, you'll be glad you got the romantic planning done early, because something else entirely is taking up the lion's share of your energy. On the 13th, ask them what they want. Then, on the 16th, tell them what you want (if you haven't already). By the 21st, you want to have identified a potential problem and taken steps to deal with it. If you have, you're in for a pretty unbelievable 22nd, 23rd and 25th. Who knew things could get going so quickly? Go back to the old scheduling table on the 28th. Why? Because it's kind of hot to have the logistics all taken care of!
Scorpio - Sometimes, with romance, it's smooth sailing all the way. And sometimes, like on the 1st, it's a bumpy ride in a little dinghy. You have to keep bailing water just to stay afloat (or at least that's how it feels). Don't despair: Bumps and leaks and bad weather are actually good signs when it comes to romance. It means you're getting in there and dealing with real life, not living in some too-smooth-to-be-true illusion. On the 5th, with a little tenacity, you could bring your dinghy into a nice little Bay of Romance, where the waves are gentle and the vibes are good (and the seafood can't be beat!). By the 9th, you want to be thinking about where you should anchor your personal dinghy of love in a more permanent way. On the 15th and 16th, put some mental and emotional muscle into considering where you've been and where you're going and who you'd like to go there with. On the 21st, get organized. By the 25th and 26th, your love's sunshine might be so bright that it's blinding! Put on some sunscreen and your sailor suit and enjoy it! On the 30th, let things flow in whatever direction seems best.
Sagittarius - Everybody knows romance is driven by electricity, and on the 1st, you could very well feel like you're the inventor of the lightbulb! Yes, you're harnessing electricity and generating romance and having a jolly old time this month (and you're not the only one!). The good vibes just keep flowing on the 2nd and 3rd, when a few radical romantic ideas occur to you. Implementation is surprisingly easy on the 4th and 5th, when you could invent a really big and impressive lightbulb of love. By the 7th, it's time for a critical romantic decision. On the 13th, don't forget that even innovators and inventors who stay up all night in the chemistry lab of love (like you) need a rest. Take a nap! On the 17th and 18th, take a long, hard look at your real romantic needs. What are they? By the 23rd, a problem could come up. Well, life wouldn't be interesting without any problems, would it? On the 28th, you're channeling all kinds of romantic energy. Is it electric? Or is it cold fusion? Or is it plain, old L-O-V-E?
Capricorn - Nobody, but nobody, is completely free of romantic hang-ups -- everyone has at least one tiny one. Maybe you get nervous before a date. Maybe you can't decide what to wear. Maybe you're worried about being hurt. Maybe you're nervous about the prospect of sharing your life with somebody else. On the 1st, you could be confronted with a few of the little tics that make you special. Rather than feel bad about it, be glad you're getting a chance to explore yourself and figure out what your real needs are! On the 2nd and 3rd, this exploration pays off (in a big way) with some really romantically 'on' days. Whether you're flirting or dating or going deeper, it's an exciting time. On the 8th and 9th, you have a real insight -- and it could come from all the steps forward you've been taking. By the 13th, make sure you're communicating, and on the 20th and 21st, both you and they might want to take a little time out to process things. A lot has been happening! On the 25th and 26th, identify what's wrong (it's the first step toward fixing it!). On the 30th, enjoy. Everything is going your way.
Aquarius - As the month starts, you're getting kind of sublime with this whole romance thing. You're not just scratching the surface. No, you're considering the finer, more delicate side of two people sending sparks to each other. You're thinking about what the fact that we fall in love with each other means for human beings and existence and spirituality and corporeality. Ahh. On the 4th and 5th, it's time to rouse yourself from all of these thoughts and ask the object of your affection on a date. Just do it. On the 9th, you don't sit idly by while a rival steals your would-be honey, do you? Of course you don't! You take action where action is required. Good for you! On the 13th, you get in touch with some important feelings, and on the 17th and 18th, don't strain yourself. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. By the 23rd, you're back in active mode, taking a lead on an important decision (pizza or sushi? coffee or drinks?). By the 28th, you're sublime again. Your potential partner sure is lucky!
Pisces - On the 1st, you could find yourself at a romantic turning point. Do you stay or do you go? Are you interested or aren't you? Can you commit? It wouldn't hurt -- and might help -- to turn to some philosophical texts on this one. Whether it's a primer called 'Existentialism 101' or something else entirely, sometimes it's a good idea to consult a professional thinker on complex issues like love. On the 5th, keep up the good thinking. If you put your mind to something, sooner or later you're bound to have a good idea. Romance is no different. By the 6th, 7th and 8th, you see a brand new beginning (and like what you see). On the 13th, change is just an action or two away, and on the 18th, your creativity could put you in just the right place to meet just the right person (cool!). By the 22nd and 23rd, you could take a public kind of role, and this may broaden all your horizons (including your romantic ones). On the 28th, pick up that philosophy text again if you feel like you might need it.
Love Horoscopes are courtesy of www.love.astrology.com
Does your company have a stylish and fun product you would like to give away to one of our wonderful guests at our events as a prize? Contact us at info@sixminutedates.com for information on this great opportunity!
When I first saw the book title, "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You", I thought - oh puhleese, how conniving. Now, 10 years later, this book is still in heavy circulation so I gave in and picked up a copy. With trepidation, I read the chapter on The General Art of Pick-Up and I must say I was won over by Lowndes advice - it wasn't conniving at all, just simple.
Christine: Thank you so much for sending me all the invitations to your events; however, I no longer need to be on your mailing list as I met a truly wonderful sexy man at the last event I attended. He is the man of my dreams. Take care and thanks again for everything......
SEPTEMBER 2006
