As a Dating Expert, I spend quite a bit of time studying love. On a quest to explore the more scientific side, I recently read an interesting article in National Geographic. Arthur Aron, a psychologist at Stony Brook University in New York, suggests that doing novel things together on a date triggers dopamine in the brain, which can stimulate feelings of attraction. He found that even if you jog in place and then meet someone, you're more likely to think they're attractive. So first dates that involve a nerve-racking activity, like riding a roller coaster are more likely to lead to second and third dates. Hmmm, something to consider....when was the last time you went to Calaway Park on a date?
Our SPRING FLING 2006 parties are coming up soon and tickets are selling fast! More details are below. A great chance to meet your match!
Just like hiring a fitness trainer, hiring a Dating Coach can help you make big changes. Click on 'Hire a Dating Coach' from our homepage. Feel free to contact me to find out more and how I can help you turn around your love life!
Enjoy our May issue and do tell if you have any requests for topics you would like to see in future editions.
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." ~ Mark Twain
Look forward to seeing you soon!
Sincerely,
Hi There,
I'm a fairly attractive guy in my mid 30's living in the West End of Vancouver. I have been single for the last 5 years after having a serious long term relationship end badly. I have only recently gotten interested in dating again. Now I have no idea how to begin. I have never had any problem meeting women, the prolem I have is when I meet them I only seem to be able to become best friends. What the heck am I doing wrong? I have made some friends I'll have for life but It'd be nice to meet someone for something physical but how do I convey that without feeling like a letch?
Always Friends
Dear Always Friends,
I'm going to let you in on a little secret about the window of opportunity. There is a short time period after meeting a woman you are attracted to where she enters a decision process on whether she likes you as a friend or more. You are making the same decisions. The issue is if the friend vs. date clarification is not communicated during the 'window', by default, you are seen as a friend. Once she sees you as a friend, it is difficult for her to revert back to seeing you as a date. This window is very important because men often think if they just carry on as a good friend, the girl will eventually realize how great they are and will want to be their girlfriend. WRONG. Unfortunately, the existing girl-friends you have are not the ones to approach to deepen the relationship.
In order to get clarification with the next lady you meet, you will need to optimize and learn to work with the window. Ask her to go for a coffee and if things go well, ask her for dinner at a nice restaurant on a Friday night. This is a sure sign that your intentions are to take her on a date, especially if you say something like, "I'd like to take you out for dinner on Friday, are you free?" She will get the message loud and clear and this is an opportunity for her to let you know whether she shares your desire to pursue something further. If she accepts your invitation, be sure to treat it like a date by picking her up and being subtly flirtatious. If things go well, ask her on another obvious date - perhaps offer to make her dinner at your place. I guarantee by the end of date three you will know, without a doubt, whether she likes you as more than a friend. Remember, you teach people how to treat you so if you act like a friend, you will be treated like a friend.
I just wanted to let you know that I am engaged to be married to a guy that I met a year ago at six minute dates. We are planning a wedding for next year. Thanks for your emails of further opportunities but I no longer need them. :)
Wednesday, May 10th- ages 25-35
Thursday, May 11th - ages 30-40
Wednesday, May 24th - ages 25-35
ALSO, We will be hosting 2 large-scale SPRING FLING Parties at the BeatNiq Jazz Club in late May/early June.
Wednesday, May 31st- ages 40+, 8:00pm-12:00am, The BeatNiq Jazz Club (non-smoking), 811-1st St. SW
Thursday, June 1st - ages 25-40, 8:00pm-12:00am, The BeatNiq Jazz Club (non-smoking), 811-1st St. SW
Join us at the Beat Niq Jazz Club for a stylish and fun night of delicious appetizers, drink specials, fabulous music, fun mixers and the perfect opportunity to meet your match! Tons of matches result from our large scale events so you won't want to miss them!
Tickets are $45.00 + tax, inc. delicious appetizers.
Tickets can be purchased online only by visiting our website Events Calendar. Tickets are not available at the door.
This is a private party. Space is limited to 90 guests per evening so book early to guarantee your spot!
MAY 2006
Aries - Well, you magician of romantic tricks, you master of come-hither looks, you star acrobat in the circus of love, you! On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, make your move. Play your tricks! Look your look! Do a triple flip over the lion's cage! It will work -- almost certainly. If it doesn't, try again, or do something else. Yes, it's going to be a pretty romantic month for you -- provided you take the necessary action. After all, nobody ever said romance comes to those who wait. On the 7th, call your love interest. Then pay close attention to their signals on the 12th. What are they saying? On the 17th, go with the flow, and the flow will go with you. On the 20th, go ahead and take a time-out from romantic action to do a little inward-looking work. It never hurts to ask yourself what you really want and why, you know. On the 25th, try something new, you old puppy dog, you. On the 30th, cast your spell! Bat your eyes! And do a quadruple back flip! They'll respond. Oh yes, they will.
Taurus - On the 4th and 5th, take some time to ask yourself this: When was the last time you wrote a mini-musical (with three to seven main characters and two dance routines) to express your romantic intentions to your colleague at the next desk? What? It's been a while? Okay! Then it's clear that this month, whether you compose music or engage in a little watercooler flirtation, you need to get creative and express yourself, you little lovebug, you. On the 10th, you feel your social side calling -- so get out there and socialize! It might spark some romance, you know. On the 16th and 17th, why not take a small step backward and ask yourself: What do I want romantically? How do I feel about expressing myself to get it? Do I get nervous? Find it exciting? Can't tell? On the 23rd, talk to your friends about these issues and see if they have any insights (they probably do!). By the 27th, you're back in romance mode -- and you're chatty, chatty, chatty to boot!
Gemini - Sometimes, like on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd of the month, you feel like you want to fall in love or go on a dinner date or even just have iced coffee with someone you may have something in common with. But you need help. Your main goal: Talk to your love interest long enough to discover the common thread (you both like cold coffee? You both jog? You both like to solve complicated physics problems for fun?). But are you knocking on the right door? You may need to knock on some other ones. On the 5th and 6th, tell your friends, aunts and your next-door neighbor that, you know, you're interested, if they should happen to know anybody fabulous enough for you. On the 11th and 12th, you see a few romantic contacts fall into place. Great! On the 17th, you may have a lot of offers -- but not too many for you to handle, you socially organized thing, you! On the 23rd, start interviewing your candidates over virgin daiquiris; by the afternoon of the 26th, you may feel a few sparks. On the 31st, congratulate yourself -- you've done a splendid job of working the romance this month.
Cancer - Wow, you knew you were a lucky duck, but as this month starts, you are luckier than ever when it comes to romance. On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, you must have done something special with your tail feathers, because everybody is checking you out. And they like what they see! You like them, too. Hey, that's great. On the 7th, you're padding your nest with water lilies and soft, sparkly things, and you might have a visitor very soon! They'll love what you've done with your nest, so don't worry. On the 12th, things could turn serious. Wow! You sure swim quickly, ducky! On the 17th, take a little break. You can't be in romance mode all the time, you know. You may need to compromise on the 21st -- but you like it, don't you? Admit it! You solve a romantic problem on the 25th, and on the 30th, you very likely get a romantic prize. Like a kiss! Quack!
Leo - Everybody needs to be loved, needed and smooched behind the ear. But sometimes you feel like you need those things more than other people do. Well, maybe you do, you sensitive, clean-behind-the-ears bunny of love! On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, go ahead and get in touch with the details -- such as what you need, who you need and how you're going to get up the nerve to ask them out to dinner. Then, on the 4th and 5th, act! Whatever you undertake now has a highly increased chance of delivering smooches behind the ears. On the 10th, if you like smooching behind the ears on the sidewalk and they don't, you have to compromise (or convince them that you're right). On the 14th, you feel philosophic, and they think that's hot. Cool. Go with the flow on the 19th, and on the 23rd, just tell them how you feel (it's as simple as that). On the 27th, talk about it, and on the 31st, nibble on the fruits and celery sticks of this month's romantic labors, love bunny!
Virgo - On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, make two lists. Title the first 'Romantic Things in My Life That Are Working Well.' Call the second 'Romantic Stuff That Isn't Working Out So Well.' Spend the rest of the month filling out these lists. It's a great way to see what you're doing right, and not so right, romantically. On the 4th and 5th, you should put things like 'being self-confident' on the first list and things like 'trying to find somebody absolutely perfect and then attempting to eradicate all my flaws so we match' on the second. By the 6th, 7th and 8th, you should already see some improvements. On the 14th, don't be so diligent in your list writing that you don't take time out to return somebody's wink. On the 19th, you just might meet somebody practically perfect (or their cousin, who promises to introduce you two). Take action on the 23rd. On the 24th, add 'taking action' to the first list. On the 29th, check your lists -- unless you have a dinner date. If you do, the lists can wait. Then later you can add 'going on dinner dates instead of writing lists' in list number one
Libra - Hey, there's nothing wrong with being set up on a blind date. Even if your great-aunt Mabel is the matchmaker, and the date is with her neighbor's mail carrier's grandchild. Really! How do you know whether this person is 'the one' unless you try? Sheesh! So the 1st, 2nd or 3rd, just say 'absolutely' to Aunt Mabel's matchmaking. No risk, no reward, baby. And no matter how things work out with this mystery date, keep your eyes open on the 7th, when you'll be attuned to both problems and possibilities, romantically speaking. On the 9th and 10th, you look good and feel lucky, and whether Aunt Mabel got it right or a special someone just asked for your phone number, real romantic energy is building around you. On the 16th and 17th, don't, don't, don't give up! You will see the light (or they will) by the 21st. On the 26th, go out for a nice dinner -- with or without a romantic partner. By the 31st, the phone will be ringing. Is it great-aunt Mabel? Or somebody else?
Scorpio - you're too controlling, it can make intimate relationships a bit difficult, no? Don't beat yourself up about it though -- learning to be vulnerable doesn't come easily to a rough-and-tumble personality like yours. On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, really try letting go and giving in when it comes to romantic situations (and don't forget to be nice!). Interesting things start to happen by the 5th, when a big shift is in the works for you. On the 10th, be honest with yourself about any romantic problems you (or you two) have, and by the 11th and 12th, this little dose of truthfulness will raise your happiness quotient. On the 17th, things get a little easier. Don't ask why -- just go with it (and go with them -- maybe to the movies?). The 22nd and 23rd are good days to implement one of your main talents -- being aggressive (when it comes to romance). Get that number! Yes! Call it! Yes! Whew. On the 29th and 30th, take time to reflect on what you've learned this month.
Sagittarius - Hmmm. Have you been pining for an old love for a little too long? Are you ready to pick a few wild roses and sniff them, and then inhale all the fresh spring air as deeply as possible? Maybe you'd like to throw your arms up and say something like, 'Yes, world, you're beautiful, and yes, the person who always sits in front of me on the bus to work is beautiful, too. And I am going to ask them out!' Okay, do it! You can even roar a little after you've said that (as long as there aren't any little children around who might be scared). Then you might want to roar again when things really start going your way, especially on the 5th, 6th or 7th, and again on the 13th, 14th or 15th. Roaring feels good, doesn't it? You might have a romantic experience that banishes all shadows of lovers past on the 21st, 24th, 25th or 26th. So your keep your eyes and arms open! On the 31st, why not find some creative outlet to express how you feel?
Capricorn - You start the month, on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, in a good romantic space. Whether you've snagged Mister or Miss Right, or have met someone you'd like to get to know right away, or are downright happy with being single and fancy-free, you're enjoying it! This is exactly what you should be doing. On the night of the 8th, then into the 9th and 10th, you come to a real turning point: Your romantic situation is about to change, and if you go into it wholeheartedly and honestly, it will be for the better. The 14th is a time for reevaluating -- and peeling away whatever isn't working. Your personal orchard of romance is blossoming by the 16th and 17th, when folks are hopping the picket fence to smell your romantic blossoms! Delicious! On the 21st, assess your love-sphere strengths and weaknesses, and on the 26th, talk it over with someone over a nice, long afternoon lunch. On the 31st, pick a pear and share it: Things are just getting interesting!
Aquarius - What are you up to, you romantic rascal, you devilish cutie, you little love demon, you? Are you teasing a love imp? Are you making the love imp tease you? Whatever it is, you're having a grand old romantic time on the 4th and 5th. And so is whoever is on the receiving end of your romantic revelry. On the 9th and 10th, you get a little more serious. No more love-demon behavior for you! Nope -- now you're seriously considering your romantic intentions, apprehensions and capabilities. Gosh, you're multifaceted, you former love devil, you! But you can't keep the solemn behavior up forever -- by the 15th and 16th, you have that little gleam in your eye that says, 'Ha, ha! I'm having fun with romance.' You're tickling your grateful object of affection with a feather by the 21st. On the 26th, your serious side comes to the fore again, and you make a few important decisions. On the 31st, just relax and let things happen. The love imp you're tickling will agree to that!
Pisces - Whether you're swimming in refreshing romantic waters or just thinking about getting your toes wet, the 1st, 2nd and 3rd are good days for you. Dive in and things will likely go the way you would like them to. What a nice romantic situation to find yourself in! On the 7th, don't try too hard to control what's happening. Let it be, and it will go the way it needs to. On the 13th, you could have a real insight over dinner, and on the 17th, a problem becomes clear to you. The nice thing about problems becoming clear is that the solution is often not far behind! On the 20th and 21st, things are really going your way, and you have a set of inspirations that cheer you. By the 25th, a few romantic sticking points become unstuck. Poof! Just like that. On the 31st, it's a good idea to channel any tricky feelings into some sort of artistic expression.
Love Horoscopes are courtesy of www.love.astrology.com
Does your company have a stylish and fun product you would like to give away to one of our wonderful guests as a prize? Contact us at info@sixminutedates.com for information on this great opportunity!
As a Dating Expert, I spend quite a bit of time studying love. On a quest to explore the more scientific side, I recently read an interesting article in National Geographic. Arthur Aron, a psychologist at Stony Brook University in New York, suggests that doing novel things together on a date triggers dopamine in the brain, which can stimulate feelings of attraction. He found that even if you jog in place and then meet someone, you're more likely to think they're attractive. So first dates that involve a nerve-racking activity, like riding a roller coaster are more likely to lead to second and third dates. Hmmm, something to consider....when was the last time you went to Calaway Park on a date?
Hi Christine,
MAY 2006
